*edit: I just reread this post and it's jumbled and difficult to understand...but I'm posting it anyway. If you can make some sense of it, then good for you.* :)
Hey. So yeah. It's been 46 days since I posted, and I'm reallyyyyy sorry. I've been a horrible blogger. It would be fun to update you on what's been going on in my life, but that'll be the next post, because I have something else I want to talk about first. :)Do you know what freedom is?
I think I do. Don't take my word for it, but recently I totally got an idea of what not being free is. Not in a physical way, but spiritually. I spent the night at a friend's house, and at about 4:30 in the morning the radio started going off. There was a radio show on, and it was
1. Shallow
2. Stupid
3. Shallow
4. Pointless
5. Shallow
6. Made me want to cover my ears with my pillow
Well, I'm not going to say what it was about exactly, but it involved clothes and women, and it made me think, "Wow. Could the world get any more shallow?" (And yes, I'm aware I've used that word four times now, thank you, it fits this post very nicely.:)
So the world sees a woman's body, not her heart. Do they care what's in her heart? Nope. It's like, "Hey, if she's hot, that's all that matters."
I'm having trouble to convey what I'm talking about...what I mean is, the world is bound in chains of depravity that they're perfectly content to lounge around in, but what happens when God comes in and the chains are broken?
Freedom.
Sometimes it seems like, as Christians, we don't have the so-called "freedom" of non-Christians: we gotta dress a certain way, act a certain way, be "good." And it can look like our non-christian friends are having all the fun, living however they want to, not held back by any restrictions.
But hey. That's not how I want to live. And I never will want to live that way. Because those without Christ are bound up in chains too, just like the world. Chains that they don't even know are there.
Christ came. And he broke away each chain, each shackle, and each manacle binding our wrists. He used love and sacrifice and forgiveness and grace. He turned what was rotten into something that is blossoming.
And he gave us freedom. Freedom to love him, live for him, embrace beauty, and to want to cry because he's just done so much for us that we can't even fathom.
Our chains are gone. We've been set free. Christians, we are not of this world. We may be sinners and we've made mistakes every single day of our lives and we will make mistakes every day onwards, but we do not belong to the depravity and shallowness of this world. We are Christ's.
Listening to that horrible radio show talking about something as stupid as "should women dress provocatively for job interviews" made me want Jesus. It comforted me to know that I had a reason not to listen to that junk, that I was set apart from it, and that I had someone to run to. I am not alone in this world. I am saved. What the heck, I'm not perfect, and here on this earth I never will be.
But my chains are gone.
Even as I'm writing this I'm feeling a bit hypocritical. It may sound here like I'm some amazing super Christian who's got it all together and lives a perfect Christian life every day. I'm nowhere near close to that. I can't remember the last time I sat down one morning and had devotions. I've told God I want to do better and live for Him and I haven't. Sometimes I feel so shallow and inadequate and concerned with worldly things that don't matter.
My friends, let me ask you: What is that battle worth? What is worth to fight for something like looks or popularity? 'Cause even right now, I'm thinking, That's not what I want. I want a life lived for Jesus. A life that in the end is going to mean something. God is waiting for us and how many times have we turned him away in favor of things that will pass away? How many times have I done that? I can't even count. I can't count how many times I've done that in the past month.
So I can live a life in chains and bondage and slavery, in a world that will only pull me down and fill my mind and heart with shallow, stupid talk. Or I can fall at the feet of Jesus and beg for forgiveness and cry and thank him, again and again and again, that he saved me from the world. Saved me. Rescued me. Redeemed me.
Dear Lord,
I understand what it means to be in the world but not of it. You are a great and amazing God and I want to cry out to you and fall at your feet with tears from what you saved me from. I don't have to stumble aimlessly through life alone in a world that hates You. I don't have to die and be separated from you for eternity because your love was greater than my sin.
God, I don't want to be just another random person living for the world, not now or never. I've been set apart for You, for Your Glory and Your Kingdom. For an eternity WITH you, not without you.
I can't even begin to fathom the depths of Your Love.
And that is perfectly okay with me.
My life is your's, Lord. Not mine and definitely not the world's. You hold my heart, and I pray you always will. I love you.
All my love, which is nothing compared to all of yours,
your daughter,
Caroline
