I am not of this world's

*edit: I just reread this post and it's jumbled and difficult to understand...but I'm posting it anyway. If you can make some sense of it, then good for you.* :)

Hey. So yeah. It's been 46 days since I posted, and I'm reallyyyyy sorry. I've been a horrible blogger. It would be fun to update you on what's been going on in my life, but that'll be the next post, because I have something else I want to talk about first. :)

Do you know what freedom is?

I think I do. Don't take my word for it, but recently I totally got an idea of what not being free is. Not in a physical way, but spiritually. I spent the night at a friend's house, and at about 4:30 in the morning the radio started going off. There was a radio show on, and it was

1. Shallow
2. Stupid
3. Shallow
4. Pointless
5. Shallow
6. Made me want to cover my ears with my pillow

Well, I'm not going to say what it was about exactly, but it involved clothes and women, and it made me think, "Wow. Could the world get any more shallow?" (And yes, I'm aware I've used that word four times now, thank you, it fits this post very nicely.:)

So the world sees a woman's body, not her heart. Do they care what's in her heart? Nope. It's like, "Hey, if she's hot, that's all that matters."

I'm having trouble to convey what I'm talking about...what I mean is, the world is bound in chains of depravity that they're perfectly content to lounge around in, but what happens when God comes in and the chains are broken?

Freedom.

Sometimes it seems like, as Christians, we don't have the so-called "freedom" of non-Christians: we gotta dress a certain way, act a certain way, be "good." And it can look like our non-christian friends are having all the fun, living however they want to, not held back by any restrictions.

But hey. That's not how I want to live. And I never will want to live that way. Because those without Christ are bound up in chains too, just like the world. Chains that they don't even know are there.

Christ came. And he broke away each chain, each shackle, and each manacle binding our wrists. He used love and sacrifice and forgiveness and grace. He turned what was rotten into something that is blossoming.

And he gave us freedom. Freedom to love him, live for him, embrace beauty, and to want to cry because he's just done so much for us that we can't even fathom.

Our chains are gone. We've been set free. Christians, we are not of this world. We may be sinners and we've made mistakes every single day of our lives and we will make mistakes every day onwards, but we do not belong to the depravity and shallowness of this world. We are Christ's.

Listening to that horrible radio show talking about something as stupid as "should women dress provocatively for job interviews" made me want Jesus. It comforted me to know that I had a reason not to listen to that junk, that I was set apart from it, and that I had someone to run to. I am not alone in this world. I am saved. What the heck, I'm not perfect, and here on this earth I never will be.

But my chains are gone.

Even as I'm writing this I'm feeling a bit hypocritical. It may sound here like I'm some amazing super Christian who's got it all together and lives a perfect Christian life every day. I'm nowhere near close to that. I can't remember the last time I sat down one morning and had devotions. I've told God I want to do better and live for Him and I haven't. Sometimes I feel so shallow and inadequate and concerned with worldly things that don't matter.

My friends, let me ask you: What is that battle worth? What is worth to fight for something like looks or popularity? 'Cause even right now, I'm thinking, That's not what I want. I want a life lived for Jesus. A life that in the end is going to mean something. God is waiting for us and how many times have we turned him away in favor of things that will pass away? How many times have I done that? I can't even count. I can't count how many times I've done that in the past month.

So I can live a life in chains and bondage and slavery, in a world that will only pull me down and fill my mind and heart with shallow, stupid talk. Or I can fall at the feet of Jesus and beg for forgiveness and cry and thank him, again and again and again, that he saved me from the world. Saved me. Rescued me. Redeemed me.

Dear Lord,
I understand what it means to be in the world but not of it. You are a great and amazing God and I want to cry out to you and fall at your feet with tears from what you saved me from. I don't have to stumble aimlessly through life alone in a world that hates You. I don't have to die and be separated from you for eternity because your love was greater than my sin.

God, I don't want to be just another random person living for the world, not now or never. I've been set apart for You, for Your Glory and Your Kingdom. For an eternity WITH you, not without you.

I can't even begin to fathom the depths of Your Love.

And that is perfectly okay with me.

My life is your's, Lord. Not mine and definitely not the world's. You hold my heart, and I pray you always will. I love you.

All my love, which is nothing compared to all of yours,
your daughter,
Caroline

Caroline has finally figured out what eyeliner is good for

Eyeliner doesn't work on me. Period. I mean seriously, you're supposed to put it on your eyelid like right against your eye, but it never goes on. I dunno what it is, I guess I just have special eyes.

"1-800 Contacts? They can't have my brand." *looks into the distance* "I have special eyes."
"Look! Look with your special eyes!" *shows box*
"My brand!"
--1800 Contacts commercial (it's cheesy, but I love it :)

The night before last night, I had a revelation. Kind of. I took my useless eyeliner pencil and begin drawing elvish designs next to my eyes, or attempting to anyways, cause they turned awful. I showed my parents and they got a good laugh out of it. Then I went back to the bathroom mirror and managed to draw half of a mustache before my dad saw me from the hallway and we both cracked up. I finished the mustache and showed my mom, and I think she was partially mortified. I added a unibrow and a goatee before the night was over!

So, if you have special eyes, too, and you're sad that you wasted money on eyeliner that has no purpose, now you know what to do with it! I told Molly this is what we're doing at our sleepover on tomorrow night. She draws mine, I draw hers, and I plan on taking pictures :P

_________________________

This video.

I know Gwen likes this. This made my day!! "U is for ukilele..."

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Soon, I'm going to be busy, busy, busy. My birthday is in just over two weeks (and one of my bffs, Katelyn, has her b-day in exactly two weeks, on St. Patty's Day!!) Then the weekend after that I'm going on a retreat with my youth group. I have never, ever, been anywhere more than two days without my sister, so this is really a leap of faith for me. About two weeks after that I'm probably traveling up north for my grandfather's funeral. Also, volleyball starts the same week I'm going on the retreat, and I'll have schoolwork and classes to juggle too. I get anxious when I have so much stuff going on like this, and just thinking about the next few weeks is like a weight on my shoulders, but I just gotta give it to God and trust that He's gonna help me through it.

I have a new blog!! It's for photography! There are no posts up yet, but I'll be working on it. I'd appreciate it if you'd give me a follow :) Click HERE

I realized there's no pictures in this post so I should probably add one.

Pictures of you,
pictures of me
hung upon your wall
for the world to see
pictures of you
pictures of me
remind us all of what we used to be

*ahem*

Sorry.

Well, this was probably a pretty boring post and not one of my best, but what's been, like, 9 days since I've posted?? So here you go! Hope you enjoyed :)

xoxo,
your vb-obsessed, phoenix burning day dreaming, robin hood loving, mustache drawing blogger,
caroline

O Come o come Emmanuel...

I was trying to think of a more creative title. :) I know I probably don't have any right to post, seeing that I've been a very naughty blogger, but I have a good reason--nobody sees my posts, anyways, so I was kind of like, "What's the point?" until I remember to get permission to make my blog public again. I always forget, meaning I don't post, and when I don't post, I forget...oh, I have a question. Does anyone know why only this and the previous post show up on my page? I don't what I did wrong, and I can't fix it. Please shout it out if you know. :)

Anyways, that be not the subject of this post! I'm here to say, Happy Christmas! Or Merry Christmas, if you like. Getting into the Christmas spirit had been difficult for me this year, but last night at our church's Christmas Eve service, I felt like I truly remembered the reason for the season. You know how you can know these things, but it doesn't sink in? Well, last night it did. :)

Christmas isn't called Christmas for nothing...where do you think the "Christ" part came from? ;)

So, to all of my lovely blogger friends, who are reading this or not, a very Merry Christmas to you and your family! Tear open wrapping paper with glee, decorate sugar cookies, try on your new herringbone newsboys cap a hundred times. (Someone didn't get one of those this morning...no, not at all...) I love all that stuff, but let me join the chorus of everyone else reminding us what Christmas is all about.

Thank you, Lord, for coming down to earth and dying for us, and giving us the privilege of spending eternity with you. Everyday you save me, and I honestly don't know how I would get through life without you. Thank you for loving me, and being my best friend.

Happy birthday, Jesus!

Give me one glorious ambition for my life

I feel better right now than I have in a while. I'm in a mellow, content kind of mood right now, though earlier I was ready to jump and sing for joy. Because, I had been struggling, and instead of turning to God, I tried to reason with myself and get through it on my own.

If there's one thing I should've learned by now, it's that that never works.

I opened my Bible to Philippians 4:8. I read it over and over, drilling it into my mind, willing myself to remember it and to pull it back when things got rough. I opened next to Ephesians 6, the famous Armor of God passage. I can't count how many times I read through those eight verses, starting with "Finally, be strong in the Lord," and ending with, "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

I was crying as I read over it, again and again, because the struggle was big but the God is bigger. And I've been through things like this before, some much more difficult and longer-lasting than this was. But no matter what the struggle, no matter if we're hurting a little or a lot, God's love will always be there...whatever your hurt is. Anger, sickness, breakups, Satan's lies, and the list goes on. But in each situation there is God. When no one else loves you, there is God. When you're hurting whether emotionally or physically, there is God.

"Sure, Caroline", you may say. "You have no idea what I'm going through. And why should I take your word for it? You're probably younger than I am."

You're absolutely right. I don't know what you're going through. I don't know what kind of fiery darts Satan is directing in your path right now. But I will always know that God will be there. It's like this: I am never sure, and neither are you, about what will happen in life. But I am certain that God will be right there with me, because He always has been, and through faith I trust that He always will be.

Don't take my word for it. Take God's. In Ephesians 6:17 His Word is called, "The Sword of the Spirit". My mom pointed out something once I hadn't noticed: God's Word, the Bible, the sword of the spirit, is our only weapon in the Armor of God. Every other piece of our armor is designed for the defense, to defend ourselves from Satan's flaming arrows. But the Bible is our sword: it's what we fight with: it's what we do battle with.

I have to be honest with you. If I was not a Christian, I really have no idea how I could get through what Satan tries to throw at me. Honestly. God is my everything. My hope. My strength. My love.

Without Christ, I am nothing.

Yesterday at church, the song we sang at the end stood out to me. I loved it when one sang it, and when I pulled out my bulletin a little bit ago to read the lyrics, I loved it even more. This is my favorite hymn now.

Give Me One Pure and Holy Passion

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To grow as your disciple in Your Truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on, and I will run after You.

I want to be a writer. In many ways, that is my ambition, my worldly goal.

But that is no longer my ambition. (don't panic. I'll never stop being a writer.)

I want to go higher. I want to go beyond what the world can do for me and let Jesus be my ambition. I want Him to be my pure and holy passion. He is my glorious ambition. What will yours be?

Follow hard after him.



And I promise you, He will fill your heart with so much joy you might even be able to jump higher than I did in that picture.

Lovely Photo Wednesday

I love skies. I really do. I feel like when the sun is streaming past the clouds against a blue sky, it's like I'm seeing part of the heavens.
Sound silly? Try it.
God is the ultimate artist...nothing we'll ever create is ever going to match up to his masterpiece of the universe!
He invented color, clouds, sky, water, roses, smiles.
So you've heard all this...
I'm just repeating it. :)

Click on the button to check out all of the other amazing entries!

*oh, and please do vote on my poll on the sidebar. I want to know what you want to see!*

Till next time, my lovelies.:)

I'm Pressing On

In August I did a guest post for Melody at Vividry. While I got wonderful feedback from Melody, Guin, and Alexandra, that's about all I got...so I'm reposting it (with Melody's permission) here. My original post can be found on Melody's blog here. This post was originally written for Vividry.

*****

Moving on.

Whatever the situation, it's one of the hardest things we must do. Friendships...ideas...dreams...our memories are steeped in the past while we forget about our lives in the present.

As of last November, I'd moved three times in the past year and a half. With my first move, I missed my old friends desperately and would have given anything to "go back home." And each time I visited my friends and family where I used to live, I got a little more distant, a little more detached--sometimes without my knowing it.

One year ago, all I wanted was to move back to where I used to live. I remember mistakenly wishing that I had never moved to the Midwest.

But I wouldn't trade anything in the whole world for the one year I spent out there. Not another year back in my old home, another year with my old friends, another year anywhere else. Because in each place I've been, God has given me friends and experiences that in my mind are worth far more than any worldly possession.

At the same time, He was slowly prying me apart from my old friends. I think of friendships that were, friendships that used to be so strong, and I want to cry because the girls are so different now, it's like I don't know them. And a part of my mind thinks, If I hadn't moved, if I had stayed here, maybe we would still be friends...I wouldn't have missed out all the things they did together, without me...

Yes, that's true. I'd have an entire year of memories with them, in my old home.

And an entire year in the Midwest wouldn't be in my memory. Those friends, the girls I became so close with, I wouldn't even know. The family vacations, the sleepovers, the youth group meetings, the freezing cold winter (well, that I'm not missing too much), the volleyball practices, the laughter. Something would be missing, a really big something, a huge part of my life.

It take me a long time to realize that that part of my life lives in my memory, but it's not who I am anymore. I love that part of my life... but I can't get it back. Rather, God has put me where I am for a reason.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." --Jeremiah 29:11

You're where you are now because God has planted you there. Yes, maybe you're missing your friends, your old home, your church. But would God have put you there if he didn't have a plan? Would he do anything without a plan? Is missing someone, or something, any reason to not live life fully? (which is something I struggle with hugely, so don't feel alone.)

At times I still regret my leaving. Old friends have grown close to each other while I've grown farther. But, my sisters in Christ, some of the best advice I can offer you, if you have similiar thoughts--move on! Yes, it's difficult, and I know from having done it myself. But there are friends, memories, places to go and things to see where you are right now, and if you sit back in the past and wish for what's gone, you'll miss it on the life God has given you.

Somewhere back there I left my worries all behind
My problems fell out of the back of my mind
We're going and I'm never knowing where we're going
To go back to where I was would just be wrong
I'm pressing on!

--Pressing On by Relient K

Pressing on doesn't mean you have to forget your past. Keep your memories in your heart and don't let go of them...just don't let them blind you to the blessings and friends Jesus is placing in your life right now.

There's something else I've realized only recently--I don't want to go back. Even if I could, I wouldn't. I'm here now with amazing friends and fantastic oppurtunities, and wherever I am, life has to be lived!

So, my sisters, live it. Wherever you are, whatever the situation, whoever and wherever you're missing, live out your life fully for Jesus--with no regrets!

This is my mission.

I just dug an important piece of paper out of the trunk in the corner of my bedroom. And I couldn't resist sharing it.

I wrote these few sentences, this one paragraph, for my writing class back in March. It was just the class assignment; and if my teacher hadn't given us that assignment, I might never have written this.

My mission statement. Copyright to Caroline K., March 2010.


To love selflessly, live like Jesus lived, face each new morning with a positive attitude, and be a messenger of Christ. To be exemplary and brave in my faith, loyal to my friends, and honest in my words. I want to keep my heart and mind pure for God and for my future husband. I want to strive to love my family, write with passion, and follow God wherever and whomever he leads me to.

As I copied this out from the piece of paper sitting next to me on my bed, I realized how much I have failed and fallen short of every single aspect of this statement. I have been selfish. I haven't lived like Jesus. I wake up grumpy with a bad attitude. I don't talk about my faith in public. I go with the flow. I've favored some friends over others and haven't been a good example of the word "friend." I haven't always been honest. Yes, physically I am pure, but what about when I point out and sigh over every cute guy that crosses my tv screen? I've shoved my family to the back of my mind and down on my list of priorities. Most days I put off writing, telling myself, "I'm not inspired today. I'll do it tomorrow." (can you tell that I procrastinate?)

Yes. I wrote down these words but did I mean them? I shoved the paper with the statement on it to the bottom of my trunk and basically forgot about it. "Assignment over; I can go back to real life now."

Dear Lord, make me realize the value of these words. Make me realize they aren't something I typed for a class assignment but are the vision for my life. Give me the boost I need to stop sitting and waiting and help me to get up and start doing. Make me honest, make me real, make me vivid. Let me live to the fullest, not fretting over tomorrow. Don't focus my eyes only on the moment I'm in now but on the future and the choices I make. Show me the true meaning of purity, in body and soul. Help me to love others when I want to turn my shoulder and wake away. Show me what it means for me to be loyal. Make me your messenger, proclaiming your holy Name. Make people wonder about what I have that they don't. Take my fears, my hopes, my dreams--and let me be, before all things, my King, Your servant.

Amen.

Savvy?

Bonjour my friends! I regret to say, I am leaving now. This is the end. Good-bye.

HA! Gotcha! I'm not leaving forever (well, not yet, anyways. That is a possibility.) My cousin Lorna is coming in...holy fudgemuffins, 2 and a half hours. She'll be here until Monday so I, too, will not be here blogging till Monday. Or later. I dunno.

Partially, I want to be able to spend time with my cousin who lives five hours away without thinking about Blogger constantly. I love you all, but sometimes you just need a break, ya know?

The other half is, I am soooo addicted to blogging. Far be it from me that blogging would come in front of Jesus Christ. (sorry, i have been waiting to say the beginning of that sentence:D) And yet, it has. Time and time again. I try to ignore it. I try to push it aside and say, "Well, that's okay, I'll take a break next week... I'm not that obsessed." Suuurrre.

Someday I might leave Blogger for good. It takes up SO much time and mindspace. I blog when I should be writing. It takes up everything.

I have 49 followers right now...who would care to even that out? Step up now and I might show lenience. Hehe. Guy of Gisborne quote, couldn't resistXD. Anyways, let's make it a nice even number, or even above a nice even number, by Monday!

Another note. The next post, I have a little contest planned for you...nope, nothing big, and no prizes. Just something fun and hopefully a bit difficult too!

Alrightey. That said, I will see you, my friends, on Monday. Adios! Kaikkea hyvää! Arrivederci! Auf Wiedersehen! Au revoir! さようなら! Sbohem! Adeus! Farvel! Αντίο! La revedere!

Or better yet, tootles!

edit: Please pray for Mirriam's sister Melanie and Hannah's brother Sam. You can read Mirriam's post here and Hannah's here.